The Days of Awe – 5773

We have just celebrated Rosh Hashanah ushering in the year 5773.  The days prior to Yom Kippur are known as The Days of Awe.  This is a time of great introspection, which is one of my strong points.  When it comes to ruminating and trying to figure myself out, I think I’ve got the market cornered.

This is also a time for teshuvah.  Some texts use the word “repentance” as the English translation.  However, the root word from which we get the word teshuvah means to turn.  During The Days of Awe, I usually think a lot about how I lived my life during the past year and how I can improve.  I think about my feelings, my thoughts, my actions, my words.  I think about how I could have been a better person, a better husband, a better father, a better employee.  I ask God for forgiveness and to be inscribed in the Book of Life for another year.  And, in the synagogue, I recite the prayers, lightly hit my heart with my fist for each sin, and ask to be pardoned.

Lately, I have been thinking a lot about habits.  I have also studied habits.  I have many habits which I would like to replace with other habits.  I get frustrated when my intentions to change my habits fail.  I keep trying but it is really hard for this old dog to learn new tricks.  As I thought about changing my habits, it occurred to me that teshuvah is really all about changing habits.  If you are like me, you probably have been asking for forgiveness for many of the same things from one year to the next.  So, I did a little research on teshuvah and habits.

Chabad.org has an “Ask the Rabbi” site where someone asked if teshuvah is meaningless or insincere if the same mistake is repeated.  Rabbi Yisroel Cotlar responded by saying that, since we are all humans, it is always possible that we will mess up again.  But, if we continue to fail in our attempts, then it is time to re-examine teshuvah.

Rabbi Cotlar writes:

“Teshuvah, on its most basic level, consists of two ingredients: a) Remorse for the bad that was done. b) Resolving never to do the offensive act again.”

“The first component of teshuvah is relatively easy. It’s natural to feel regret over misdeeds and missed opportunities. The second ingredient, however, is more difficult. A pledge to improve often grows weaker by the day. The resolution doesn’t always have the wherewithal to resist strong impulses and ingrained habits. Something more than a simple resolution is needed.”

“If a string snaps, a regular knot will not be enough to keep the two pieces together again. A double knot is required. The same holds true with teshuvah. Every sin snaps the “string” that connects a Jew with his Creator. A single-knot, i.e. a simple pledge to never commit the sin again, may not endure. A double knot must be used.”

“Don’t merely pledge to stop insulting others. Begin praising them! Try to find qualities in the very same people you feel like mocking. Go on the offense and create a teshuvah that will endure…”

Incidentally, the area on a string that is double knotted is thicker, stronger, and more difficult to cut than an area that has never snapped before!”

I love the analogy of the double-knotted string being stronger than the string that has never snapped!  It is the failures, the fight, the struggle, the pain, that makes us strong.

Shana Tovah and use The Days of Awe to turn.

Shalom.