Finding Faith

Lying alone, motionless in constant motion in my bed,

My bedroom brightly lit as I lie in complete darkness.

The TV blares silently from across the room.

I lie between the infinite abyss of doom and the vast mountain of hope.

Day after day, I ponder my choices.

Escape into the bottomless pit,

Battle my way up the paths of the steep mountain,

Remain in my bed, paralyzed by despair, guilt, and shame.

Day after day, I ponder, I remain motionless.

The abyss is terrifying, I can’t see the bottom.

The mountain is terrifying, I can’t see the top.

My paralysis is safe, and yet I am terrified.

The pain is unbearable as I approach the abyss.

One leap of faithlessness and the pain will cease.

Too scared to jump, I slowly descend.

I wait impatiently to be overwhelmed by unconsciousness.

The pain will end at least for me, how selfish I have become.

Before the end comes, I ascend from the pit.

This is not where the answer lies.

The subtle shocks reset my mind.

The mountain of hope no longer terrifies me.

The path is winding and fraught with pitfalls.

I find faith to work my way up the mountain.

I find faith to live again.