Sinai Moments

 

This morning at Shabbat Services, one of the rabbis in the congregation gave a D’var Torah regarding Sinai Moments.  What is a Sinai Moment?  The ultimate Sinai Moment was when the Torah came into the world and the receiving of The Ten Commandments.  But Sinai Moments happen all the time in our lives.

 

In our world, we may not face a moment as historical and monumental as the receiving of God’s word.  Perhaps a Sinai Moment is an interview for an incredible job.  Perhaps it is an audition for a world-class orchestra.  Perhaps it is an opportunity to be a positive influence to your son or daughter.  Whatever it may be, it is a moment of courage, of belief, of faith.  It may be an opportunity to change the world in some small way.  But that small change may have a ripple effect that can’t even be imagined.

 

As I listened to the rabbi’s talk, I thought about many of the Sinai moments which I have faced.  Some have resulted in positive events, some not so good.  Many times, I didn’t have the courage to face the Sinai Moment.  While suffering with the paralysis of depression, I was unable to see the light of hope through the darkness of despair.  Although God called to me, reaching for me to take hold to pull me from the abyss, I was not ready for the moment.  I don’t think I doubted my faith in God as much as I doubted my faith in myself.

 

Thankfully, I was finally able to have that Sinai Moment and live again.  And now, another Sinai Moment has presented itself.  As I gather my thoughts for my upcoming book about depression and recovery, I must have the courage to look deeply into my past and dredge up memories of bleak times.  But I pray that my words can in some way inspire someone to believe that there is hope for their recovery, so that they too can have a Sinai Moment, so that there can be a ripple effect.

 

My Hebrew name is an unusual one.  It has no relation to my English name.  It is not a common name.  I was named after my godfather’s father.  His name was Sinai.  Isn’t it ironic?